police failures.

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hey, i'm sorry this update is late. you might have noticed. you might not have. that's life. i make a rule of not sharing private life things until they mess with comic stuff, so since comic stuff got messed up, here's what's going on:

during my "break" (im still slowly cobbling together pages for patreon), i also took the opportunity to not need to adhere to such a strict (lol) work schedule to recalibrate my meds. i've been feeling "bad" for a few months now for reasons that are literally entirely in my own brain and just need to be worked out, but it meant adding two new drugs to my rotation: effexor and adderall. im telling you these specifically because, if i know my audience, you guys probably know and have opinions on these medications. every time i talk about mine all my friends share their experiences too lol. we're all sad.

finally getting the adhd diagnosis is great bc i finally have a brain that works correctly. my brain only had 2 modes and that was "anxiety driven racecar doing donuts" and the kind of foggy that 8 cups of coffee barely starts to penetrate. now i wake up and im like "hey i feel human".

being on effexor is not so much. i am trying to give it at least the 3 weeks its supposed to get before it "starts working" but it feels like someone is inside my body pressing random buttons to make my body do things. the first week and a half i barely slept at all. maybe 10 hours in all. i had to pee every 10 minutes for reasons i dont get (why is that connected to my brain medication that makes me not be sad). and two nights ago i had my first "brain zap", a harmless but completely disorienting experience. im glad i knew what it was ahead of time or i would have assumed i had a stroke lol. after that, im ready to get off these fucking meds. this is a process that also takes forever and will make me feel horrible.

here's what it felt like. i was sitting at my desk being normal when my head buzzed like someone left their cellphone in there and the earth turned sideways. everything in my vision flipped 90 degrees to the right so i grabbed onto my desk so i didn't uhhh roll away in my chair i guess. i thought there was an earthquake happening before i remembered i live in rhode island. i only knew nothing happened bc my cat didn't react at all.

anyway it was insane. thanks for reading my diary lol. but that's why this was late: my brain is doing pranks on me for fun

e: oh wait right. also i had to chase a mouse around with a tupperware dish to throw it outside last night for a significant amount of time lol you know how it is with tuppermice