well! i didnt get nearly as much done as i had hoped, between the holiday and trying/failing to find wedding venues/come up with a wedding plan and going off effexor all at the same time. effexor withdrawal causes your entire body to feel like one enormous bruise from the neck down and it hurts to just lay in bed or sit on the couch. like, REALLY hurts. the benefits of coming off of it greatly outweigh the negatives but the process of tapering off of it is truly unpleasant. but when im on it, trying to get myself to do literally anything at all was impossible. i wasn't even doing lazy slob shit like playing video games constantly. i was just sitting in my chair and staring at nothing and trying to gain the willpower to go upstairs and take a shower. but the days when its out of my system are like night and day.

so my december was a bit of a bust. my 2023 was a bust; this seems like it was a universal experience.

thank you for continuing to support me, especially after that dud of a year. i barely got anything done as a consequence from being in a effexor induced malaise, going through joint pain hell (so far so good this year! whew), and being completely mentally insane otherwise. i would like to try to make 2024 a better year. i feel more positive about it. [remembers its an election year] aaawww fuck no